English
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Hi, I’m very confused lately. It might be obsessive toughts due to a huge lack of confidence or self listening but 3 months ago while I was working, I started to ask myself a million of questions including questions about my sexual orientation. I dug in the past to find the answers and I just couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I did masturbate once in my life while I was thinking about a guy as far as I remember but it wasn’t sexual … it was some kind of challenge-fantasy towards the same sex … I have a girlfriend and I love her to death. I would never break her heart. I quit my job because everyday I would come in start looking at mens in a different way and even check them out. But when I have a good day and I keep myself busy, I don’t think about those things same when I’m with my gf … But lately, I would have weak orgasm … less libido … less confidence … I would find myself stupid to everything I do wrong … it’s unbelievable how low I am :s … I ordered those enlarge-your-penis-pills cuz I feel like I’m not horny enough. My head is a real mess. I’m curious, unsatisfied even tho I got the best I always deserved. I use to be 200pds and girls would push me away. My ex never gave me a lot of pleasure either so maybe I’m sexualy frustrated … I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I use to go to gay clubs with my gay and lesbian friends without being uncomfortable but now just being around my gay friend makes me feel like I need to think I’m gay too … Could it be just a phase ? I’m 21 and pre-matured so I think I’m having my period of questionning. HELP ! I have these weird questions lately uh … I hate hanging around guys …
-I often imagine myself doing it with a guy but I don’t know if I’d feel confortable doing it …
-I’m very paranoid in general
I honestly think you’re WAY too paranoid. If you read what you wrote, you will notice two things:
1) You keep questioning yourself when you know in your heart that you like women.
2) You feel sexually frustrated.
You know, when you fear something and keep questioning yourself about it, of COURSE you’re going to trick yourself into thinking that you’re something you’re not. You’re scared, honey. Don’t be. Look into your heart and be truthful with yourself. Put your fear aside and don’t let it rule you as it is doing now.
Oh and by the way, just because you look at guys and check them out does NOT necessarily mean you’re gay. hahaha Girls do that all the time to each other and it means nothing. It’s just appreciating someone’s beauty. =) This applies to you, I believe.
August 26th, 2010 at 12:50 am
kill your self before its to late
References :
August 26th, 2010 at 1:25 am
I honestly think you’re WAY too paranoid. If you read what you wrote, you will notice two things:
1) You keep questioning yourself when you know in your heart that you like women.
2) You feel sexually frustrated.
You know, when you fear something and keep questioning yourself about it, of COURSE you’re going to trick yourself into thinking that you’re something you’re not. You’re scared, honey. Don’t be. Look into your heart and be truthful with yourself. Put your fear aside and don’t let it rule you as it is doing now.
Oh and by the way, just because you look at guys and check them out does NOT necessarily mean you’re gay. hahaha Girls do that all the time to each other and it means nothing. It’s just appreciating someone’s beauty. =) This applies to you, I believe.
References :
Don’t worry! Just be happy with your girlfriend. And most importantly, STOP LETTING FEAR RULE YOU AND SCREW UP YOUR THOUGHTS!
=)
Good luck! ^_^
August 26th, 2010 at 1:36 am
Look up HOCD. It will help you decide if you are in a questioning period, or suffering from a cycle of unfounded obsessive thoughts.
Have you ever had problems with obsessive thoughts about any other subjects?
References :
August 26th, 2010 at 2:19 am
It could be a phase as you may still be in the last throws of puberty (there is no time limit of when it starts or ends).
I don’t believe you are ‘forcing’ yourself to have male thoughts, but you probably do feel guilty.
Going to gay clubs with your gay friends and checking out guys at work, etc. I’d say if nothing else, you are bi curious.
You are fighting against yourself and you don’t want to hurt your gf, but you are frustrating yourself in the meantime.
If I may suggest you mention this to a male gay friend and tell him you’ve had thoughts about having sex with a male, but are a little paranoid. I think this paranoia comes from not wanting to find out if you are bi/gay. Choose one of your gay friends that you have a fantasy about to speak to on this and once you’ve told him your thoughts and fears I’d suggest that you try and overcome your paranoia and ask him if to be sexual with you so you can find out and settle your concious once and for all.
References :
While in university part of my curriculum was psychology and Core Humanities, both having lectures and assignments concerning Human Sexuality.
Over several decades studies combined done by top researchers in all parts of the world came to these findings:
1 out of 10 humans globally are bi/gay.
75% of males (can’t remember female scores) have had 1 or more same sex experience in their life (varying ages of individuals experimentation for one reason or another: ages from young boys, tweens, teens, young adults, adults to old men), are straight; most married with children).
Based on a true/false scale of 15% ratio.
Also, many conversations and debates with clergy of different cloths (most agreeing) with, and the findings of leading psychiatrists and other medical doctors, researchers and scientist of the Human Development of Mankind, and anthropologists agree upon this:
A human is born bi/gay, it is not a choice, illness, disease, birth defect, anyone’s fault (such as parental genes), culture based, promoted by another human or a sin. For that person it is natural and normal; predetermined in the firs trimester after conception.
Every human has the right to love and be loved no matter what gender they happen to be drawn to.