why can’t i orgasm? i’m confused.?
I have been sexually active since the age of 16, i’m almost 21.
But don’t think i have ever had an orgasm.
I have been in a 2 and a half yr relationship and had great sex, and i’m now in a 10 month relationship. The sex is unbelievable and i’m satisfied everytime, we also have lots of foreplay, and i’ve got a vibrator. but nothing seems to work. we do lots of different positions, including doggy, 69, on the bed, on the floor, legs in the air, legs together, me on top, him on top, u name it.
Can someone please explain to me what actually happens during an orgasm? and is ‘coming’ different? i know i’ve come, although not many times.
i’m confused.
i
‘coming’ and having an orgasm is totally different.
ways you can tell if you had an orgasm;
1.Have you ever felt your vaginal walls start spasming ?
2. Have you ever experienced full-body tingling ?
3. Have you had a strong sneeze-like sensation below the belt – after which you felt incredibly sated and relieved ?
4. Did you go into a series of uncontrollable full-body convulsions ?
5. Did you find yourself with a death grip on the bed sheets during sex ?
6. Have you ever screamed "oh my god" over and over, and your not that religious ?
but every girl has an orgasm in different ways.
good luck
=)
September 30th, 2009 at 7:58 am
Well, you are not alone. The majority of all women do not have orgasms through penetration. You need some sort of stimulation… I know, it sucks.
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September 30th, 2009 at 8:09 am
Having vaginal sex alone isn’t a very effective way to have orgasms ("having an orgasm" = "coming"… same thing) for most women, because the vagina isn’t the place where women’s most direct sexual pleasure comes from. The clitoris is.
It might interest you to know that by the age of 12, 1/3 of all girls have been masturbating to orgasm at least occasionally for half their lives or more… that by age 15, it’s 2/3 of them doing it *regularly* (many of them more than once a day)… or that by the age of 20, more than 80% of women are doing the same – regardless of whether they’ve ever had intercourse.
… or that the very first thing sex therapists teach women who’ve never had an orgasm is how to masturbate – because that’s the *only* sure fire way for a woman to learn how her body responds sexually and what will bring her to orgasm.
Masturbation is having sex with the only person you’ll ever meet who knows *exactly* what you feel and what you like, even if that changes every second.
Once you can have orgasms dependably when you masturbate, you can have them dependably whenever you have sex with a partner… either by giving them to yourself during sex or by teaching your partner what works for you so *he* can give them to you.
Seriously. If you don’t have orgasms alone… it’s time you learned: how’s your man gonna know how to get the work together with you if *you* don’t even know what the job is?
One thing you can do to find out is check out the "Female Masturbation" webpage at clitical-dot-com …
http://www.clitical.com/female-masturbation/masturbation-basics.php
http://www.clitical.com/female-masturbation/masturbation-techniques.php
… to read up on lots of ways you can improve things. (Actually, the entire section is incredibly valuable reading, but there’s an awful lot of it to digest in one gulp.)
Read the pages all the way through, and try some of the things suggested. Take your time (it might take a whole afternoon the first time), and just enjoy learning what feels best for you. Sooner or later, you’ll have an orgasm in one or more of these ways, and they get better each time if you’re one of those lucky girls who can have them again and again.
You will *definitely* know when you have an orgasm. There’s nothing else anywhere in human experience that feels that way.
It can take anywhere from a few seconds to a couple of hours to reach orgasm… both of these are unusual but normal, and anything in between is just fine.
Just before orgasm, you might have a feeling a bit like you have to pee, but it’s not quite the same, and when your orgasm first happens, there’ll be a very strong (sometimes intense and *powerful*), warm and sometimes tingly feeling that spreads from your clitoris to your vagina and then through your whole lower body. Then very quickly your clitoris, your vagina, your crotch muscles and your butt-hole will squeeze and pulse a few times while that feeling spreads all over you.
During all this, your heart will beat *very* quickly, your toes will probably curl, you might feel like you need to hold your breath or like you have to breathe really fast, your body will want to tense up and might jerk or shake or shiver, and you might make some noises (grunts, gasps, groans or cries) that you can’t really control. You might "squirt" or "ejaculate" a lot of fluid from your urethra (don’t worry, it’s not pee). The physical and emotional pleasure that you’ll feel everywhere at the same time is just about the best feeling a human body can have.
(Everything you "might" feel or do above isn’t always going to happen… some orgasms are much less overwhelming than just *very* pleasureable.)
As that feeling becomes more gentle and starts to go away (after maybe 5 to 20 seconds), your whole body will begin to relax, your skin will flush pinker (especially over your chest) and you might feel sort of like having a nap… or like just lying there and letting your mind drift… or even like doing it again (and again… etc) right away.
It’s not often, but it might happen that there’ll be no interruption at all between orgasms, and it can feel like one single orgasm that lasts anywhere from 30 or 40 seconds to several minutes.
Have fun and don’t worry. Masturbation is having sex with the only person you’ll ever meet who knows *exactly* what you feel and what you like, even if that changes every second. It’s normal and healthy, learning what pleases you sexually is good for you, and when it comes to having sex with the one you *want*, you’ll be able to tell them (or to show them if you like) the things you like best.
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September 30th, 2009 at 8:30 am
trust me honey if you have to ask what an orgasm feels like then you definately havent had one and i am sorry for that! you may need some stimulation. browse internet or books to see what could help. also do be afraid to ask your doctor. trust me you are not alone there are lots of women who experience this. in fact my aunt once told me she has only been with one person since she was 16. she is now 46 she said she was well in her 30s before she had one. she consulted to the books she claims and now has one everytime. good luck to ya though
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September 30th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Not all girls/women can, or it’ll just take A LOT. But don’t worry, you’ll know exactly when you’ve had an orgasm!
x
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September 30th, 2009 at 9:32 am
‘coming’ and having an orgasm is totally different.
ways you can tell if you had an orgasm;
1.Have you ever felt your vaginal walls start spasming ?
2. Have you ever experienced full-body tingling ?
3. Have you had a strong sneeze-like sensation below the belt – after which you felt incredibly sated and relieved ?
4. Did you go into a series of uncontrollable full-body convulsions ?
5. Did you find yourself with a death grip on the bed sheets during sex ?
6. Have you ever screamed "oh my god" over and over, and your not that religious ?
but every girl has an orgasm in different ways.
good luck
=)
References :
cosmopolitian magazine (jan. 2009)
and me
September 30th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Orgasm – the climax of sexual excitement, consisting of intense muscle tightening around the genital area experienced as a pleasurable wave of tingling sensations through parts of the body. Try to not be in a rush and have foreplay, make him touch you down there towards your clitoris.
Clitoris:this is a tiny knob of tissue and nerve endings located at the top of the labia minora. The clitoris is the female equivalent of the penis head in terms of sensitivity and sexual arousal.
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September 30th, 2009 at 10:23 am
i could help you with that one too
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