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Forcing myself to have gay thoughts …?

Hi, I’m very confused lately. It might be obsessive toughts due to a huge lack of confidence or self listening but 3 months ago while I was working, I started to ask myself a million of questions including questions about my sexual orientation. I dug in the past to find the answers and I just couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I did masturbate once in my life while I was thinking about a guy as far as I remember but it wasn’t sexual … it was some kind of challenge-fantasy towards the same sex … I have a girlfriend and I love her to death. I would never break her heart. I quit my job because everyday I would come in start looking at mens in a different way and even check them out. But when I have a good day and I keep myself busy, I don’t think about those things same when I’m with my gf … But lately, I would have weak orgasm … less libido … less confidence … I would find myself stupid to everything I do wrong … it’s unbelievable how low I am :s … I ordered those enlarge-your-penis-pills cuz I feel like I’m not horny enough. My head is a real mess. I’m curious, unsatisfied even tho I got the best I always deserved. I use to be 200pds and girls would push me away. My ex never gave me a lot of pleasure either so maybe I’m sexualy frustrated … I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I use to go to gay clubs with my gay and lesbian friends without being uncomfortable but now just being around my gay friend makes me feel like I need to think I’m gay too … Could it be just a phase ? I’m 21 and pre-matured so I think I’m having my period of questionning. HELP ! I have these weird questions lately uh … I hate hanging around guys …
-I often imagine myself doing it with a guy but I don’t know if I’d feel confortable doing it …
-I’m very paranoid in general

I honestly think you’re WAY too paranoid. If you read what you wrote, you will notice two things:

1) You keep questioning yourself when you know in your heart that you like women.

2) You feel sexually frustrated.

You know, when you fear something and keep questioning yourself about it, of COURSE you’re going to trick yourself into thinking that you’re something you’re not. You’re scared, honey. Don’t be. Look into your heart and be truthful with yourself. Put your fear aside and don’t let it rule you as it is doing now.

Oh and by the way, just because you look at guys and check them out does NOT necessarily mean you’re gay. hahaha Girls do that all the time to each other and it means nothing. It’s just appreciating someone’s beauty. =) This applies to you, I believe.




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4 Responses to “Forcing myself to have gay thoughts …?”

  1. xwolfxwoodx Says:

    kill your self before its to late
    References :

  2. OBAMA 08!!! Says:

    I honestly think you’re WAY too paranoid. If you read what you wrote, you will notice two things:

    1) You keep questioning yourself when you know in your heart that you like women.

    2) You feel sexually frustrated.

    You know, when you fear something and keep questioning yourself about it, of COURSE you’re going to trick yourself into thinking that you’re something you’re not. You’re scared, honey. Don’t be. Look into your heart and be truthful with yourself. Put your fear aside and don’t let it rule you as it is doing now.

    Oh and by the way, just because you look at guys and check them out does NOT necessarily mean you’re gay. hahaha Girls do that all the time to each other and it means nothing. It’s just appreciating someone’s beauty. =) This applies to you, I believe.
    References :
    Don’t worry! Just be happy with your girlfriend. And most importantly, STOP LETTING FEAR RULE YOU AND SCREW UP YOUR THOUGHTS!

    =)

    Good luck! ^_^

  3. Pineapple Shortcake Says:

    Look up HOCD. It will help you decide if you are in a questioning period, or suffering from a cycle of unfounded obsessive thoughts.

    Have you ever had problems with obsessive thoughts about any other subjects?
    References :

  4. pushstroke Says:

    It could be a phase as you may still be in the last throws of puberty (there is no time limit of when it starts or ends).
    I don’t believe you are ‘forcing’ yourself to have male thoughts, but you probably do feel guilty.
    Going to gay clubs with your gay friends and checking out guys at work, etc. I’d say if nothing else, you are bi curious.
    You are fighting against yourself and you don’t want to hurt your gf, but you are frustrating yourself in the meantime.
    If I may suggest you mention this to a male gay friend and tell him you’ve had thoughts about having sex with a male, but are a little paranoid. I think this paranoia comes from not wanting to find out if you are bi/gay. Choose one of your gay friends that you have a fantasy about to speak to on this and once you’ve told him your thoughts and fears I’d suggest that you try and overcome your paranoia and ask him if to be sexual with you so you can find out and settle your concious once and for all.
    References :
    While in university part of my curriculum was psychology and Core Humanities, both having lectures and assignments concerning Human Sexuality.
    Over several decades studies combined done by top researchers in all parts of the world came to these findings:
    1 out of 10 humans globally are bi/gay.
    75% of males (can’t remember female scores) have had 1 or more same sex experience in their life (varying ages of individuals experimentation for one reason or another: ages from young boys, tweens, teens, young adults, adults to old men), are straight; most married with children).
    Based on a true/false scale of 15% ratio.
    Also, many conversations and debates with clergy of different cloths (most agreeing) with, and the findings of leading psychiatrists and other medical doctors, researchers and scientist of the Human Development of Mankind, and anthropologists agree upon this:
    A human is born bi/gay, it is not a choice, illness, disease, birth defect, anyone’s fault (such as parental genes), culture based, promoted by another human or a sin. For that person it is natural and normal; predetermined in the firs trimester after conception.
    Every human has the right to love and be loved no matter what gender they happen to be drawn to.

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    Kegelmaster Instructions

    Make sure you lubricate the vaginal area with a water soluble natural lubricant and lubricate the Kegelmaster at the tip. Place the Kegelmaster between your thighs, insert the unit into your vaginal opening until it is firmly in place. You will notice this when the Kegelmaster feels much smaller and locks into place.

    Grasp your Kegelmaster firmly, you are now ready for your initial adjustment!! This is done by turning the knob at the top of the Kegelmaster counterclockwise - until the knob is no longer touching the top of the Kegelmaster and until you feel a slight pressure. This should not be uncomfortable.

    NOTE: If the knob is at the top of the Kegelmaster and you don't feel any pressure from the Kegelmaster putting resistance against the vaginal muscles, then you will have to add another spring. If you have the right tension, squeeze down against the Kegelmaster. If you are easily able to clamp down with your vaginal muscles completely for thirty reps (closings), remove the unit from your vagina and change the position of the spring, moving forward one pin (see Power Spring Combinations). If you are still able to easily close down all the way, for thirty reps - after insertion, then you must move the single spring back to the rear pin (1) and add a spring to the next forward pin (2), then repeat the process.

    Power Spring Combinations:

    1,2,3,4, 1*2, 1*3, 1*4, 2*4, 3*4, 1*2*3, 1*2*4, 1*3*4, 2*3*4, 1*2*3*4

    The ideal spring tension is determined by one's ability to close the Kegelmaster at the beginning of the exercise and become unable to close it completely at the end of 30 reps. This is not hard to do and it is a lot of fun to see how many of the springs you can squeeze for 30 reps, having difficulty with the last five. The exercise sequence starts with 3 sets of 30 reps daily. With each rep you attempt complete closure of the Kegelmaster, pausing in between each set of 30 reps for 3-5 seconds. It is recommended to work up to 6 sets of 30 reps a minimum of 3 times a week. An individual may do more sets, but it is not advisable to exceed 30 reps. A final fatigue of the muscle until the last rep is performed with very little vaginal movement is your goal. When you are finished, close the device before removing! Gently close the device, tighten the knob and slowly remove the Kegelmaster.

    Ideally, use the kegel exerciser twice a day, morning and evening. For women with prolapse, it is recommended to use the Kegelmaster in the morning to start with.

    For prolapse or any other medical condition, please consult your doctor before purchasing the Kegelmaster.

    The Kegelmaster is cleared and deemed effective by the FDA as a medical device for incontinence.

    We in no way intend to diagnose, treat or make any medical claims about the Kegelmaster.

    Cleaning the Kegelmaster is simple. Use an anti-bacterial cleaner after each use. Open device, remove springs, and use a small brush to reach all areas of the Kegelmaster. Dry and store for the next use.