How do females define sex when they say: "I never had sex with him"?
I am suspicious that my wife has cheated but she denies it vociferously. The evidence is circumstantial but overwhelming. (e.g. Once she was worried about being pregnant during a period when we weren’t having sex, another time she was giddy with excitement over the small size of this cute guy’s dick she knew, and yet another time I found a condom in her purse, and so on.) She had a good explanation for the condom being there and I believe her – but nonetheless it was still there.
She is very attractive, very naive, and very moral- she really is (church pianist since 13, virgin until me, etc), and says things like "You are the ONLY guy I ever had sex with in my life." I personally think there is a good chance she’s in denial about this and has fooled around, (rubbed genitals, play with hands to orgasm, etc.) – but never let anyone bury his cock in her and c*m, and therefore is ok with saying she never had sex with anyone. Another part of me says that she really is being honest and is someone special, is that possible?
I have been unfaithful and in no way do I feel like I have the moral high ground. In fact early in our marriage and for sometime thereafter the shoe was on the other foot and I was the one giving unbelievable excuse. I’m not sure she ever got over that and has totally refused to have sex with me for the last few years. At any rate, my current desire is for both of us to come clean and start anew building mutual trust. It’s not what she may have done that bothers me but the fact that I think she’s being dishonest that does. I could forgive her I’m sure no matter what she has done. However, when I try to talk to her about this she gets livid and says that all I’m doing is accusing her and claims once again that she’s never done anything to come clean about and if I want a marriage everything is on me. I am willing to go to counseling but she isn’t.
"she was giddy with excitement over the small size of this cute guy’s dick she knew"
How does she know this?
"totally refused to have sex with me for the last few years"
Not healthy. She is cheating.
"I am willing to go to counseling but she isn’t."
End of story. You are guys are done within 2 years. Stop wasting you time.